Our Average Life

technical difficulties

ouraveragelife — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 13:31:54 +0000

our average life is going through some technical difficulties at the moment, we will be back shortly…

shiv and shir pass eachother in the hall:

shiv: oh look its the demon
shir: oh look its the devil’s spawn child

not yahoo dear

ouraveragelife — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 07:00:15 +0000

It’s always good to go hiking with people that love exercising and are really fit:

sabz: my body aches and every time I get up to walk my leg muscles hurt
moona: I made it to work today…but just barely
MK: my legs are completely lifeless
kamRam: both my feet are broken
shlomo: I’m allergic to climbing rocks now
aimless: I almost cried when I climbed onto the bus this morning with half my weight in laundry. And I did cry (well, I winged a little) when I had to hike up the stairs.

shiv: why am I still fat?

sometimes we just have no other choice

ouraveragelife — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 08:53:23 +0000

shiv: …and then i started listening to the conversation, not because i wanted to but because i have ears…

could you concentrate if dolly parton was your english teacher?

ouraveragelife — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 13:23:41 +0000

shiv: I told him we need envelopes that don’t tore.
shir: tore? you mean tear?
shiv: tear? tear? envelopes tear?
shir: you need to go take english classes.
shiv: OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!!!!!
(shir laughs hysterically)
shiv: hey! Dolly Parton called, she wants her boobs back!

two huge points of view

ouraveragelife — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:53:32 +0000

shir: [deep comments about life, friendship, trust and loyalty] Haven’t you noticed how much happier I’ve been lately?
shiv: The only thing I notice are your boobs.

lunch with boobs…i mean boys

ouraveragelife — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:13:58 +0000

Lunch.

Table for 4.

Immy, Rayboy, Shivana and Shirod are pleasantly munching on their food when Immy brings up the issues in Iran.

Immy: [something about Iran and what’s going on]
Rayboy: [concurring and adding something intellectual]
Immy: [continuing with some boring thing that we weren’t listening to]
Rayboy: [adding another insight as we start checking out people on other tables]

Shivana and Shirod look at each other and roll their eyes.

Shivana: I love how they’re having a deeply intellectual and meaningful conversation and we’re bored.
Shirod: I thought boys only like to talk about boobs?
Shivana: Yeah me too… lets not have lunch with boys anymore.

the art of art

ouraveragelife — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 10:55:58 +0000

Shiv: We should come up with more emails for our blog now.
Shir: Well you’re in charge of that while I add more to our other post.
Shiv: But I caaaan’t do it by myself…in bed. I need participation…in bed. We can add more to the other post in the afternoon…in bed.
Shir: hahahahahahahaha, ok. ready set go.
.
.
.
(silence)
.
.
.
Shiv: I got nothing. That’s why artists get drunk to create stuff. I totally get them right now.

smooth coverup

ouraveragelife — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:07:57 +0000

At a random bus stop:

Shiv: (loudly) OMG he’s SO ridiculous, I can’t BELIEVE he would do something like that!
Bahi: (loudly) IIIIIII KNOW!!!!!!!!!!! He totally lied to me, we used to be friends but I just don’t think I can trust him anymore.
Shir: (loudly) meeeeeanwhile, did you seeeeee what she was wearing??? I mean seriously, take it down several notches.
Shiv: (loudly) I know, I mean C’MOOOON!!!!!!!!!!! People like that just shouldn’t be allowed out of the house.

The three girls look around and realize that several people are staring at them.

Shir: (loudly) well it’s a good thing we’re CHRISTIANS.

difficult life choices

ouraveragelife — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 13:42:23 +0000

On a particularly scary sherut ride:

Shir: What is wrong with the driver? Why won’t he stop yelling? He’s freaking me out!
Shiv: I don’t even think he’s taking us to the right place. I think he’s taking us to sell us as sex slaves.
Shir: probably, to some fat guy.
Shiv: what would you prefer…you were sold as a sex slave to a really really really fat guy or a really really really old guy?
Shir: so like the fatness is in proportion to the oldness?
Shiv: yeah, like the fat guy is as fat as the old guy is old.
Shir: riiiiight, ok, so I would say I would probably rather the old guy coz the fat guy will be all sweaty and gross
Shiv: yeah and the old guy would probably get so excited that he’d just die anyway
Shir: good point.
Shiv: great so that’s it. When he sells us as sex slaves we’ll choose the old guy.

near death experience

ouraveragelife — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 07:19:05 +0000

shiv: I think I am having a stroke, my eyes are doing funny things
shir: yes, you’re having a stroke
shiv: nevermind, it was only an eyelash